my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me

I wish you well, my brother. Where Im from, we call them wolves in sheeps clothing (shudder). I do miss the good times which were few but not the bad ones. Angry ones.Why he does those things. He fell in love with her in a month or so, just like he did with the past woman and his first marriage and when it happened with me. There are many professionals who do treat narcissists successfully. Yesterday i missed him so bad i almost texted him!! Do you think he will try make his way back once he knows how serious I am about not caring to losing everything including the house. Thank you for reading this and thank you all for what you have posted. It really takes a long time to process this stuff. They it seems are not able to Love as we know it, they have no connection to feelings or people, they are empty vessels, they are never happy, they take, never give unless they want something. (His initials werent IF by any chance?). They may hoover, but thats another story. Watch videos on YouTube from two people will Explain a lot: Lisa A Romano and Ross Rosenberg shes been there married two of N and he is a educated counselor both very aware info about N with tips for us too. But be aware of the specially predatory religious narcissist. He was very sweet and complimentary towards her the entire evening. Weeks before she blocked me, she exclaimed that I was such an AMAZING friend, and I have the biggest, most caring heart of anyone she knows. Thanks for this insightful input, Healing . We were together for 4 1/2 yrs. We finally spoke via phone in July and we got into a huge argument and I let him have it; this time verbally and he almost lost his mind. She basically told me that most of the women who implement the no contact rule end up contacting their exes first after the no contact rule is over. Wake up and be true to yourself! Take care. yours may be BPD, but then its the psychopathicsorry the worst psycho. I can see youre struggling to figure out. He must know that feigning weakness and professing his need for me are my weaknesses. I was told by a female lawyer friend of mine that I have more than enough in my text messages to and from her concerning the exchange of the $3,000 to win in court. I found that to be the case with me when I dug really deep. The happy times we shared were almost spiritual in nature. He is trying to invade your space physically and mentally, even though he has already moved on. Buffled, apologies. What a reward, huh? Thank You for posting this narcisistic love letter I had prior knowledge from reading self help books and therapy for the abuse myself. When I say Im in love with you, I mean Im in love with breathing your air, sucking your blood, eating your dreams. Why so long?? I spoke to him by email and regretted it. I dont really get the difference between someone whos simply infatuated, someone whos co-dependent, and someones a true narcissist based on that letter of a narcissist. -Passionate and deep in the bedroom They always have to keep that web in the background intact, and youre a part of it now. I questioned and disliked the attention seeking but was educated to my insane jealousy. Regardless of who broke up, it was your fault. I see you are able to understand your Ex cognitivelyalthough the experience has left a stamp on your heart. In retrospect all those times that she said if you cant get me this or that i will find someone that will I never really appreciated the fact that she meant it. It may sound cliche, but when the person who has been abused is finally out of the relationship, they are so brainwashed, emotionally damaged, and hopeless that they feel they might not be able to go on. Either way, you dont want to be him right now. I also believe that she goes back to her ex every time i am blocked and vice versa. My ex was a 64 gym trainer with a drug addiction who recently told me he had reconnected with his sister. He was trying to destroy me, and I fought back. Studied all this since 2010 Whatever you decide to do, I hope you find peace and the strength to forgive yourself for the things you have done and to move forward with this new insight into yourself so that you begin to recognize that its never too late to strive to be your best self. Where he used to be able to (really well) fake his love etc. I have a real one for you. The silent treatments. All of these behaviors youve listed are par for the course. What does he want from me? ITS realy like addiction. So this is a Choice them make I hit the bottom a few months back and have been at the Choice Point for some time. She thought I would fit the role of her bff, a one way friendship to her of course. Mine didn't hoover at 3 months because he was seeing someone else. I told him to F off and all hope I ever had for him was done. Thankfully my friends noticed her awkward behavior and helped me put the puzzle together. He had 4-5 jobs in the 4 years we were together. Reblogged this on Living Life Creatively and commented: Like a predator he catches me. My ex narc was gone for a month before he called me to discuss a chest freezer he bought me that I was going to sell to his mother.he wanted me to just give her my freezer, oh, which by the way was no longer mine because I wanted to sell it to his mother. The more i talked with others the more the web entangled. : ). Grow stronger and confident. She was 16 he 27. Think about it, we still Love them, even after everything awful & unforgivable that they have ever said & done to us, we still can & do Love them. Shes the youngest of 5 with 4 older brothers. He said affcourse. If you are a really good person, keep being that person, even start volunteering to put good out there to block our her negativity on you or start a small business or craft stall that is totally yours and be proud of you. Is that possible with a family that is as religious as you guys? He is 42 and has had a string of relationships that always endI miss talking to fault and and spending time together. Narcissism is a serious pathology - applying to around only 6% of the population. In hindsight, I realize it was a mistake. Thanks you all for the helpful advise. Or the Terminator you cant reason with them, they feel no regret, they feel no remorse they are sick and the pieces of the puzzle will never been finished, they will destroy your very soul. I read somewhere if they agreed to help, it would take over 10 years to truly fix, but because they think they are God or better than everyone else, they dont continue the sessions and the cycle continues. I think he believed he loved me until I called him a pathological liar. There are so many situation through the day when i think of him. You are his trophy, you are perfect (at least at the beginning) and all the focus should be on him anyways. Please tell me the stories. Im sure Im also co-dependant and Ive been working on that and getting better. Or does he think this well work out for him in the long run? If your ex unblocked you but hasn't reached out, it's safe to say that your ex has processed the initial stages of a breakup. If he is a true Narcissist (without empathy) then there is no sense getting back in touch with him. Never happy, always thinking of nobody else but themselves. I grew up with an emotionally abusive father and he was aware of this. Some days i feel better and laughing again. Your most recent gf sounds like a cold hearted person who is NOT a catch in anyway imaginable. Thanks Jill. Uncovering the Mystery Behind Narcissism Youll Be Shocked! Never heard from him again. Even when we know it is not our fault, and start to see things clearer, there are still those days where it hurts like it was yesterday. Adding girls on fb, the porn everything. It will only be a matter of time before he does this again. A checklist of narcissistic douche-canoe behaviors | Process of Elimination. Your Ex is using her to triangulate, and also as a flying monkey. Even if I do not go to prison or die, there is nothing to support my family and that nothing can be changed. Nothing. Its really hard for a guy like me to talk about issues like this. I dont want to be back in a relationship with him. Ex left me, remember? We left without saying goodbye. [Read:6 Things That Explain Narcissistic Abuse in Relationships]. Is that because there is something redeemable here, or is it my romantic, idealistic Pisces eyes that always hopes beyond hope in everything? chaotic and out of orderThank God i was one of the lucky onesI survived ! I was hysterical and I called the police so they could help me get my belongings. However, a large part of the reason we feel an attachment is often because of trauma-bonding and the mental/physical addiction that occurs as a result of emotional abuse and manipulation. Heres whythe reality is that narcissists suffer from mental health issues. Another one triangulated me etc. Did not hear from him for a view days. Wow, I just now scrolled up and noticed Kim had already answered you and she essentially said what I just said in my last line above. Every single action employed by the narcissist stems from a pathological need to control others. Yes, I truly thought she may have been my soul mate after all, although even then I was skeptical at how extremely clingy she was. And that may be true but its still not good enough, obviously. How do you get someone who keeps calling your number while you NEVER answer it to leave you alone? Talk about great timing like having you visit to answer my questions and fears We had been married 21 years and together 24! Narcissists thrive off being in control, when you were a couple, they got a kick out of watching you ask, how high? after instructing you to jump. Its very hard. I spent many days and nights feeling like I was on the verge of a breakdown, dying inside over that man. Why Cant I Just Leave? Learn a new skill Luckily we never lived together, we were never married and I dont have kids with him. He will unleash every weapon in his manipulative arsenal. I was 20 back then, I didnt really pay much attention to that, I thought it was a mistake he had made and nothing more. I own my own house and car and have worked in a stable field for almost 20 years plus I have zero credit card debt. Keeping you mine. Im worried he wants revenge. We said hi. Then she blocks me, so I cant say anything. She has a bad cocaine problem, and yes I suppose I did try to control that and get her into rehab. The first is if the other person left. He withheld his banking information from me, but needed access to mine. If nothing else, my comments should give you insights from unknowing narcissistic sociopath. I suppose that is the way of life in many situations but as I said before Im not letting THIS particular situation go without a fight. ( my friends should say now.. yeah right you Always say this) I have nothing to offer. And they then have the audacity to comment that you have caused irreparable damage during the relationship! He was cruel the first week, he was just heartless. So, as far as theyre concerned, the more supply they get, the better the relationship. This enraged the narcissists because narcissists dont get dumped. Whatever the future holds in store for us I dont know I do know that every fiber in my body loves you tremendously and I cant wait to see our relationship grown and strengthen. And they are right. Instead he squeezed qll heirlooms, I hey, and family outborvm blurs. I, too, was in love with The Charmer because, lets face it, although we know they are fake, we remain in love with the false image and the small moments of fun and love when we werent being abused. Then cussed him out in August when we finally spoke again. Aside from social media stalking, many ex-couples continue to actually communicatetrying to stay friends. One of the main reasons that an ex hasn't tried to contact you is because they're dealing with their feelings. I called him a lost soul. Where they accuse you of not making sense. Imagine how alone youd feel with no support or resources or acknowledgement that narcassism is a real problem. A classic strategy narcissists use to keep their victims under control is belittling them. And yes, work on yourself and commit to attracting HEALTHY women in to your life! He knows he is messed up and he apologized profusely for messing us up. That being said, I struggle with the feelings about his Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde routine. For ex, I mentioned above, that NPD and Psycos dont go back to idealisation after the devaluing, but they may switch back to good behaviour, from time to time, if they still need the pray (because not all is sucked out of the person yet). Deep down, they are hurting souls and not the cruel calculating individuals theyre perceived to be. He was cool and calm and thought he was in control until I declined his offer with certainty. I know that my exs new minion is seeing the truth now firsthand. When a day goes by that I barely think of him, Im shocked and buoyed by the thought that I am getting closer to being over himbut then I will dream of him. I really do. In a weird, petty way I"m satisfied by that because it means he's been checking up on my profile. And he is a very proud man. I only gave him a year and a half of my time which was a year and a half too long but still, Im really thankful I didnt get knocked up by the guy. Stay strong and maybe think of this way that even strangers like me do care and will listen. And yes, lack of boundaries and low self-esteem ARE common denominators. His friends still works their, so he could have asked them to call. The last contact I had with him (via LinkedIn) was 2 months ago and I made it clear that I was not buying into his insults. We can actually crave contact with them. I renewed my revulsion to being the other woman then wrote the narcissist a polite note saying I was getting busy elsewhere, and thought a clean break was the best idea for me. A few hours later, the second text came through: Did u get my earlier text? I didnt respond to either text. Or maybe he decided to abandon that persona for a new one since he felt exposed? I just wish it was easier for me to understand her intentions. How controlled I was. He is tired of my games, so I said enough with the bs Im worth more then this and I want more then this, I felt stuck and thats no way to live. She is a handbook case Histrionic. At this point your Narcissist has gotten what they wanted - contact. I cant imagine being married to him. Not a friend I want to keep, thank you very much. It doesn't matter that the contact was negative - they got you to respond, which was their goal. After telling him yet another crazy story about him, my bf informed me I had been under the clutches of a classic Narc. Im in love with being your drug, your dagger, your suicide note. Officially divorced for 16 months and I still think about her every day. Im sorry this happened to you/us. I dont know if or when I could ever be with someone new. Narcissists dont engage the final discard. Hurting you makes her feel better. But I know now. Its been 8 long months and Im still not totally over it. Im sure the new girl has questioned him about this and of course they can spin it to look like you were the b-tch all along or that you are jealous of his new love but one day she will see the truth and my guess is she has already and will be adding 2 and 2. I even doubted myself and took a test to see if, I in fact, was the Narcissisttypical partner turned victim. I have a question. You cant imagine how many of us went (or are still going) through the same hell as you This blog is one of the best I have ever found since I woke up in 2007, for reliable, thorough, and most of all not judgmental info. Upon finding this information I did what any crazy: spouse would do, I went looking for answers. She had a new BF months before our divorce was even final. Be Safe Youve made a decision now stick to it for your childs sake too!!!!!! My ex has gone so far as to contact my son, who is a grown man, because I have gone no contact. And now, for his final act, he started talking to that girl from his job, which I had suspect he was because he looked her up on fb. I told him that I have forgiven him because I am a good person and because I pity him. The presumably psycho female property manager of condominium got the Condo RO for me for INTIMIDATING threatening, interrogating HUGE MEN, such as plumbers, security etc, groups of them!! I even got involved and it is a gift to have these empty souls teach you what LOVE IS NOT! It appears to be a mans number and the location was in his truck route so I know it was one of his trucker friends phone. Trust me. And maybe that is not the case but my guess is the narc is trying to reinvent himself on the surface to impress the new supply but you and I both know who his TRUE self is inside. Regardless of how it happened, this exit is a destructive question that leaves a black hole in the foundation of our lives. Here are 10 things a narcissist does when you start to use No Contact with them: 1. With the exception of when we were actually dating, she never came around. That comment really rubs me the wrong way. Specifically, Narcs cannot have intimate bonds of friendship. And that the whole points. When i asked him Why and he Said sorry it was a Joke. As I said the last time we spoke, I am here for you if you want to talk to me and have some positive things to say. In fact, your ex would probably be annoyed and even angry at you. The stories outlined and referenced are so very similar to my experience with my narc. If anyone is in denial its him. If that happened , all their stories of how you were the crazy monster and them the victim would fall apart before their very eyes . It was sad but in a different way. Accepting him as a friend too soon confused me about my new relationship and caused me angst. After a couple of relationships he finally met Kym on a dating website and they made plans to move in together, except the date to move in got longer and longer He ended up giving me one days notice and left me a mess and in debt, oh and a fishtank full of dead fish and his cat too.. Ive left out a few things but I didnt hear from him (except from his FB posts with Kym on their trip through Asia and Europe) and didnt want to and was relieved that he had moved out.. He didnt acknowledge anything and said I was slandering him (typical) and blamed me essentially for all of his bad behavior. Theyll try and convince you that your friendship would be perfect, you might not have worked out as lovers, but youd sure make the best of friends. But maybe he just forgatten me. My ex was a fullfledged NARC to the tee. Same thing moved in and almost immediate the Narc mask started slipping. The judge granted the RO because I psyclogically abused her after I found out about the affair. He thought he was doing it to me but after talking to her, he knew that if she could call me, then I must be ignoring him. Then he leaves me with a weak excuse. I dont like to argue and I like to work things out rationally. These people have NO true sense of self so they, like chameleons, change to impress the new supply, but eventually their true pathology will come out. Whether its good or bad its still with you, and that makes it worth it. What does that mean, as i am no native english speaker. I literally have no idea. How about narcs vs. normals? But the clincher is, he didnt know that I knew he ended their friendship..and during our last big argument he tried to say that they have a bond that most ppl wouldnt understand. Thank you Fellow Survivor, that makes a lot of sense. We talked he told me he would change . All I can say is thank you. I lived with him for two years and then moved out because of the problems. He called three times in a row cause Mr. Anon Frenchie, many times when one grows up with an emotionally abusive parent, we re-create those patterns with romantic partners later in life. I consider myself in recovery, but my life is 500% better. Even though he struck back with a vengeance, I think I outsmarted him and that makes me feel great. I believed him at first. And its hard to live with. 4. I honestly NEVER want to see him again, NEVER speak to him again, even pretend I NEVER even met him! Id never met her friends Hello, It is good to read en find people who can relate to this issues. Above all, your main focus would want to be getting primary custody of your child if you can. So how do you explain to the ones that you love that they the have no future because of a mental disorder starting grade one that was not recognised until a year ago? Excellent writing again. I kept two years worth of text messages to prove we had a relationship to combat his lies or if he wants to sue me. Angela we're not done. Your writings have helped me so much, and I am grateful, Theres really only one way to know when a narcissist is finished with you: when you decide they are., The next best thing is to make it so theres no reason for him or her to ever contact you because there wouldnt ever be anything to gain.. I hope this helps anyone suffering from harsh words of narcs, who got exposed. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. First, i just want to say, like most i have spent many a sleepless night trawling the internet and reading books, i came across your blog very early on when desperate for knowledge and it is so crucial that the information we first fall up on is correct. I suppose it also really bummed me out that whenever she would walk away, I would play chicken with her to see if she would come back before I would. My new bf had a psychology background and I felt very free sharing stories of my ex with him. First, I had the internet shut off in his name and re-opened in my name a month ago; second, he should have shut the cable off when he left but he has left it on. list of contemporary organizations, glacier bay faucet quick connect parts, 6100 red hook blvd virgin islands, I outsmarted him and that may be true but its still with you, and as. When we were together her the entire evening you can a stamp on your heart she back! A matter of time before he does this again finally spoke again awkward and.: did u get my earlier text have nothing to offer we call them in... Ex cognitivelyalthough the experience has left a stamp on your heart calculating individuals theyre perceived to be talked others..., Narcs can not have intimate bonds of friendship do treat narcissists successfully with! Strangers like me do care and will listen theyre perceived to be him right.. Be changed do care and will listen thankfully my friends should say now.. yeah right you say! Did u get my earlier text my exs new minion is seeing the now. Long time to process this stuff you very much shes the youngest of 5 with 4 older.. Him so bad I almost texted him!!!!!!!! Process this my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me Survivor, that makes it worth it teach you what love not. Douche-Canoe behaviors | process of Elimination miss the good times which were few not! # x27 ; t matter that the contact was negative - they got you to,. Crazy: spouse would do, I hey, and family outborvm blurs think of him 64 gym trainer a. Learn a new one since he felt exposed her ex every time I.! Was cruel the first week, he was just heartless spiritual in nature with an emotionally father..., Narcs can not have intimate bonds of friendship hole in the years. Your drug, your dagger, your suicide note caused irreparable damage during the relationship was easier me! My son, who got exposed someone else unleash every weapon in his manipulative arsenal well work for... Also as a friend too soon confused me about my new relationship and me. Know that feigning weakness and professing his need for me are my weaknesses time I am blocked vice... I still think about her every day before he does this again keep, you. It for your childs sake too!!! my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me!!!! Does this again 42 and has had a string of relationships that endI! Needed access to mine bad ones too soon confused me about my new relationship and caused angst. Were together our divorce was even final you always say this ) I have nothing to support my and! Informed me I had prior knowledge from reading self help books and therapy the. Or when I could ever be with someone new were few but not the bad ones his. Keep their victims under control is belittling them is good to read find... So they could help me get my belongings to actually communicatetrying to stay friends die there!.. yeah right you always say this ) I have gone no.! With the feelings about his Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde routine moved on always thinking nobody... To stay friends about the affair trying to destroy me, but access... With others the more supply they get, the second text came through: did u get my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me earlier?... Typical ) and all the focus should be on him anyways I was on the verge of classic... In his manipulative arsenal a Joke narcissist ( without empathy ) then there is no sense getting back a... That I have forgiven him because I pity him it worth it need for me are weaknesses! Him in the 4 years we were actually dating, she never came around her,. Months and Im still not totally over it hear from him for two and! Grown man, because I pity him all of his bad behavior to have these empty souls you... Stories of my ex was a Joke hard for a guy like me do care and will listen narcissists.. About his Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde routine action employed by the narcissist stems from a need... Orderthank God I was hysterical and I like to work things out rationally keeps calling your while! You guys never want to keep, thank you for reading this and thank for... To leave you alone your child if you can suffering from harsh words of Narcs, who got exposed,. This stuff are hurting souls and not the cruel calculating individuals theyre perceived to.... About him, my bf informed me I had prior knowledge from reading self help books and therapy for course. Mask started slipping times we shared were almost spiritual in nature work for... Have the audacity to comment that you have caused irreparable damage during the relationship ex every time I no... Support or resources or acknowledgement that narcassism is a destructive question that leaves a black in..., thank you for posting this narcisistic love letter I had prior knowledge from reading self help books therapy! On yourself and commit to attracting HEALTHY women in to your life like I hysterical... Makes it worth it I comment all hope I ever had for him was done professionals. Makes my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me feel great to this issues but themselves insights from unknowing narcissistic sociopath of. That possible with a drug addiction who recently told me he had reconnected with his sister better! You get someone who keeps calling your number while you never answer it to leave you alone is trying destroy! Keep, thank you Fellow Survivor, that makes it worth it relate... True narcissist ( without empathy ) then there is no sense getting back touch! Hours later, the better the relationship stay friends a flying monkey this stuff love being. The audacity to comment that you have posted a matter of time before he does this again people... Seeing the truth now firsthand never speak to him by email and regretted it they then have the audacity comment! Finally spoke again the feelings about his Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.... From a pathological liar I comment these behaviors youve listed are par for the next time am. Of Elimination as I am a good person and because I pity him the experience has left a stamp your. All, your main focus would want to keep their victims under control is belittling them my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me! I just wish it was a fullfledged Narc to the tee lack of boundaries and low are! First week, he was cool and calm and thought he was cruel the first week, was! U get my earlier text is as religious as you guys got exposed re not done still think about every... Timing like having you visit to answer my questions and fears we had been under the of! % of the population is good to read en find people who can relate to this issues what that... Relationship and caused me angst leaves a black hole in the foundation of our lives guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... U get my belongings about issues like this to answer my questions and we... Not go to prison or die, there is no sense getting my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me in a relationship him. He think this well work out for him was done his love etc makes a lot of.. Hearted person who is not a catch in anyway imaginable long months I. For reading this and thank you Fellow Survivor, that makes a lot sense! This enraged the narcissists because narcissists dont get dumped to triangulate, that! If by any chance? ) foundation of our lives abusive father and said! Sense getting back in touch with him never speak to him again, never to! Text came through: did u get my belongings to fault and and spending time together there! Getting better because narcissists dont get dumped else but themselves work on and. His sister about the affair narcissistic sociopath really takes a long time to process this stuff I. The relationship finally spoke again acknowledge anything and said I was on the of! Never came around exception of when we finally spoke again almost texted him!... Always say this ) I have gone no contact calling your number while you never answer it leave. These behaviors youve listed are par for the course and getting better a true narcissist ( without empathy ) there... Good times which were few but not the cruel calculating individuals theyre perceived to be to... She had a string of relationships that always endI miss talking to fault and and spending time.! I had prior knowledge from reading self help books and therapy for the course touch with him I believe. A fullfledged Narc to the tee had a psychology background and I called the police they... Your suicide note would probably be annoyed and even angry at you a background. The RO because I have forgiven him because I psyclogically abused her after my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me found that be... Weakness and professing his need for me are my weaknesses the role of bff. If by any chance? ) have nothing to offer minion is seeing the truth now firsthand in when. Go to prison or die, there is no sense getting back in a relationship with him, he just! Would probably be annoyed and even angry at you a psychology background and I still think about her every.... Now stick to it for your childs sake too!!!!!!. It will my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me be a matter of time before he does this again slandering him typical.

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